soothing and being the one to sooth alerts in me now a kind of caution to the blindside of being adept at fixing. that of not knowing who you might be without it, so much so that caretakers can also be great creators of chaos, in order to recreate their role. the caretaker's world is the one that bears down on the world of chaos, validates it by creating a refuge from it. admits the world is not a playground but a war-zone from which we need refuge from.

If I say to this and to you that her inability to love you was your inability to love yourself, that there is no thing someone can do unto you that you will not do to yourself. No I, no me, no my, no her, no she, only is. To say I loved you in this language is to be damned by subject. To say it, is to say without subject, no I love you, rather there is love here. No you hurt me, rather there is pain here. The difference subtle, the meaning similar but the distinction blurred. What are you two without the subjects of your language, to see others as so different, to see the events of our lives as separate from ourselves is the true falsehood. Yes, we cannot always accept the boxes people bring to our doorsteps. Without the taking of the gift we are left in tact, no thank you, simple and kind.